You’re Not Broken, You’re Becoming: A New Lens on Grief

"There is no timeline for grief. There is only the next breath, the next step, and the courage to take them."

Grief. It’s a word that often brings a heavy silence to a room, conjuring up images of heartbreak, loss, and pain. But what if looking at grief through a different lens, one of kindness, acceptance, and empowerment, could transform our experience of it?

Grief Isn’t the End It’s the Beginning of Something New

Grief. It’s a word that lands heavily, often met with silence, discomfort, or a swift change of subject. It conjures images of heartbreak, loss, and pain, emotions we’re taught to avoid or quickly “get over.” But what if there’s another way to see it? What if grief, when met with kindness, acceptance, and empowerment, could become not just something to endure, but something that transforms us?

This was the heart of a recent episode of the Into Your Life podcast, where acceptance coach Chris Mamone shared his deeply personal and insightful perspective on grief. His message was both grounding and inspiring: grief is hard, yes, but it can also be a catalyst for healing, growth, and purpose.

Grief: A Matter of the Heart

As Chris put it, “Grief is a matter of the heart, not of the mind.” You can try to rationalise a loss, explain it, even plan around it. But when your heart breaks, no logic can make it stop hurting. Too often, society encourages us to bypass that pain “move on,” “be strong,” “get over it”, but healing doesn’t work that way.

True healing, Chris emphasised, starts with giving ourselves permission to feel everything without judgment. Sadness. Anger. Confusion. Numbness. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve, there’s only your way.

Grieving More Than Death

Chris’s story is one of unimaginable loss: the stillbirth of his child. He described it as both the most devastating and ultimately one of the most powerful events of his life. “My son is what drives me right now in my business,” he said. That loss became the foundation for his coaching practice, Empowered Grief Journey, where he helps others navigate their own paths through sorrow and into self-reclamation.

But Chris also reminded us that grief is not exclusive to death. There are many invisible griefs that shape our lives: the loss of a job, the end of a relationship, a move to a new country.

Leaving a country, can feel like a thousand little goodbyes. Goodbye to familiar faces. To the language that rolls off your tongue without effort. To cultural rituals that make you feel at home. It’s a grief that’s often dismissed because it’s “chosen,” but it’s real, valid, and worthy of space.

“When we lose a job, a home, or move away, we don’t just lose things, we lose identity, routine, belonging,” Chris said. And every loss, no matter how seemingly small, deserves to be acknowledged.

There’s No Timeline on Healing

One of the most liberating messages from the episode was that grief has no expiration date. “It’s okay to not be okay,” Chris affirmed. The pressure to “get back to normal” or “be strong” only deepens the wound. Instead, we can give ourselves grace. Healing isn’t linear, it loops, spirals, ebbs, and flows.

It’s not about “getting over it.” It’s about getting through it, in your own time, at your own pace.

How to Support Someone in Grief

So many people struggle with what to say to someone who’s grieving. Often, they say nothing, or unintentionally say the wrong thing. Chris’s advice? Keep it simple. “Your presence alone is so powerful,” he said. “You don’t even have to say much. Just say, ‘I’m very sorry for your loss,’ or, ‘How can I support you today?’”

Just being there, truly present, without trying to fix or cheer up, can mean everything.

Chris also cautioned that not everyone will be a safe space for your grief. Some people, out of discomfort or ignorance, may minimise your pain or gaslight your feelings. And it’s okay to step away from those interactions. “Take your power back,” Chris said. “You are only responsible for your own healing.”

The Grief We All Carry

One of the most poignant moments of the episode touched on collective grief, particularly the aftermath of the COVID-19 pandemic. Even if you didn’t lose someone, chances are you lost something: routine, connection, a sense of safety. Chris encouraged listeners to acknowledge those quieter losses by journaling or simply reflecting on how life has changed since 2020.

That too is grief. And it too deserves to be honored.

Grief as a Path to Becoming

The most beautiful takeaway from the conversation? That grief doesn’t mean you’re broken. “You’re not broken,” Chris said. “You’re becoming. And when you’re becoming, you’re a powerful person.”

Through loss, we are stripped bare. But from that place of raw vulnerability, we can build something new, something rooted in compassion, authenticity, and strength.

Grief might always live with us in some form. But if we allow it, it can also teach us how to live more fully, love more deeply, and lead with empathy.

If you or someone you love is grieving, take this as your reminder: It’s okay to be exactly where you are. Seek out safe people. Give yourself space. And don’t rush the process.

You are not alone, and you don’t have to walk this journey in silence.

For more support or to learn about Chris’s work, visit Empowered Grief Journey or connect with him on social media. Healing starts with acceptance—and you are worthy of it.

Grief isn’t the end. It’s the start of becoming something new.

Until next time

Chat soon

Natalie & Lenka

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